Technical Problems
by Special Fred
Summary: Summary: AU: Miroku works at a tech-help job and works with technically challenged people every day. Enter Sango; With the technical clarity of a rock. Ever met a perverted computer whiz? Better yet,one that stalks you?
1. Office Spaces

I have found new love and inspiration for the Mir/San pairing.

What many people may not know about me is, I think of very silly plots in very silly places. I made up a couple in a very boring car ride. I made this one brushing my teeth.

Summary: AU: Miroku works at a tech-help job and works with technically challenged people every day. Enter Sango; With the technical clarity of a rock. Ever met a perverted computer whiz? Better yet,one that stalks you?

Disclaimer: I can't draw.

I would like to thank Niklas (theLament) for ideas and encouragement.

**Technical Problems**

**_Chapter One_**

--

"Hello,tech support?"

"No,This is the phone sex hotline. And we mean _hot_ line. How can I fill your needs today?"

Miroku could practically hear the person's blush.

"Lighten up! I was only kidding!"

CLICK

--

His cubicle was anything but roomy. If you stick out your arms,all the way out, horizontally that would be about as big as Miroku's work space. And also there were knick knacks every which way.

Miroku put the clunky black office phone back on it's base.

"You _really_ need to stop that." Inuyasha leaned aganst Miroku's desk eating a doughnut and pushing back his black hair so that it didn't get in the way of him and the pastry.

The young man,in a purple button-up work shirt,shrugged and put his feet on his rather small desk.

"I should be getting a raise for it! You have no idea how many ladies in their mid-seventies call!" He said,shivering.

"They take it seriously and they start asking what I'm wearing and everything!-" At this Miroku imitated an old ladie's voice.

"'I knitted a thong in my sewing circle!'"

Inuyasha smirked and took another bite out of his doughnut.

"Never knew you liked them old."

"Never knew you liked them dead."

"HEY! Leave Kikyo out of this!"

Kikyo was Inuyasha's old highschool sweetheart. She was really pale and lots of times cold,so some people said she was a corspe. It didn't work out between them. And of course Inuyasha was really touchy about it.

"I was just kidding!"

"Yeah,yeah. Your jokes are going to get us fired someday,ya know."

Miroku spun around in his wheelie chair which was pretty hard to do givin the provided space.

"Please, I've done that hundreds of times! Like I'd get fired now."

"How the hell did you even get this job?" Inuyasha said,wiping away the powdered sugar off his hands and onto his red shirt.

"What? With charms like these I could get into the Pentagon!" Miroku grinned and pointed to the ceiling like a pistal.

"Yes,yes you make all the gay security guards swoon."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Start swooning! Swoon away!"

--

"Hey Miro-did you call Inuyasha gay again?" Kagome looked at the three bumps on her friend's head.

"Yeah..."

"I think all those people hitting you has affected your mental health."

"Well,he offered me the perfect opportunity. I couldn't let it pass. Besides...what is he doing with all that hair? Haven't you ever wondered?" Miroku poked one of the bumps on his head and winced.

"I...guess...I've thought abou-oh that's not the point!" Kagome glared at him and uncounsiously started to flatten out the wrinkles in her blue skirt.

"I bet...late at night, you toss and turn and ask yourself : Is he gay!? For the love of god WHAT IS ALL THAT HAIR FOR?! I don't think he makes wigs in his spair time! IS HE GAY?!'"

"OH SHUT UP MIROKU!" Kagome threw a paperclip at him. Which,quite surprisingly, hurt.

--

The automatic doors opened to reveal a young magneta eyed woman,smiling,but if you looked closely you could see she was clenching her fists. Unfortunately for Kagome,who was sitting at her desk,minding her own buisness she didn't see the sugar coated woman grinning a little too sweetly.

The woman walked up,her feet making empty hollow noices on the marble floor,and slammed her fist on Kagome's desk a little too hard and caused the paperweights to actually jump up. Which is quite intimidating.

"M-may I help you,Mam?" Kagome stuttered.

"Yes,may I please know where I can file complaints?" Sango smiled sweetly.

"Uh...fill out this form please."

Sango nodded and took a pen out of the tin can right next to Kagome's shiny name plate.

Kagome tried to get back to work but she found this young woman much more intresting...plus she was worried that she was going to make the pen burst.

--

"I'm finished." Sango said quietly and handed the sheet of paper to Kagome.

"Great! Now I just need to...check it over for...spelling errors."

Kagome was a terrible lier. But it was her right as a concerned citizen.

(A/N: Not to lie badly but to look at the form.)

Name:_ Sango_ Last name: _Hikari_

Sex: _Female_

Age:_ 19  
_

What is your complant and way to help us make your next vist or call more enjoyable?:

_What kind of company are you running?! I call because I am having trouble with my computer and then I get some crap about sex hotline?! What the hell?! I demand to have that worker found and punished!_

"So...what do you think?" Sango was grinning slightly at Kagome's expression,which was a mixture of reconigtion and anger.

Kagome brought up her head from the sheet.

"You have a very nice vocabulary."


	2. Not Really Work

YAY! NESS! OSITY! YAYNESSOSITY! I got reviews! HUZZAH! Well,I can't think of anything else intresting to say...

OH! Yeah. Inuyasha is a security guard,Miroku is a regular tech support person,and Kagome is a secretary. And Sango is the pissed off customer.

Got it? Good.

Oh also,you may be wondering why Sango is so mad about this. She is prided by her tough girl rep. She doesn't want some guy making her blush just because of a prank call. Though I would have blushed too.

YES! I AM DONE WITH THE AUTHOR'S NOTE!

Summary: AU: Miroku works at a tech-help job and works with technically challenged people every day. Enter Sango; With the technical clarity of a rock. Ever met a perverted computer whiz? Better yet,one that stalks you?

Disclaimer: HA HA HA! Riiiiiight.

I would like to thank Niklas (the Lament) for ideas and encouragement.

**Technical Problems**

**_Chapter Two_**

-

The walls of the elevator reflected her every move and expression. The walls of the elevator were very scary. The bell dinged and she walked out of it.

That Kagome woman had been oh-so nice enough to give her directions to the perverted idiot in the cubicle.

'He'll be the one with a paperclip mark on his forehead.' She had said.

'Hit him once more for me.' She then added as an after thought.

Sango was more then happy to.

-

Miroku switched the side on the Rubik's cube. Yay! For he now had all the reds on one side! ...But how was he going to get the other's together with out messing up the red? Damn. Well,maybe he could put it on his desk and have it facing the door so that they only saw the red...

"Hello?...Uh...Miroku...Takagashi?" Sango looked at the outside of the wall to make sure she got his name right.

Miroku whirled around.

"Yes,how may I help you, my dear lady?" He grinned. A beautiful young woman just so happens to be at his...uh...cubicle entrance.

"Stop acting polite."

"Acting? Miss,this is how I always talk. My grandfather would read me his old books and well,I picked up on it."

"Right. I'm sure those books talked all about sex hotlines." Sango rolled her eyes.

Oh. Well...Miroku certainly didn't count on one of his prankees to actually come to the company address.

"You know...I...knew I reconized your voice from somewhere!"

"So you admit it!" Sango swooped down like a hawk,ready to catch it's prey. Oh how I love domestic office violence. Let's watch.

"It was just a prank! In fact,if you had stayed on the line I would have helped you."

"Right." Sango crossed her arms over her chest.

"Honest!"

Sango turned to walk towards the 'door'.

"You're acting like a middle-aged woman or something..."

"What did you say?"

"...I just don't understand why you are so angry about this." Miroku was really playing with fire now...

"I don't want some guy I don't know implying things alright...I don't want a boyfriend."

"You've never had a boyfriend?"

"No-" Oops...did she say that aloud? What was she doing here? Revealing intimate secrets about herself? No! She was supposed to be kicking his ass!

Miroku grinned.

"Listion, what will it take to keep you big mouth shut?" Okay,so...Sango was a little embarassed about it.

"How about a date?" Miroku was grinning wider then ever before now.

"With...you?" Sango's eyes grew wide with horror.

"No,with this chair."

"Oh! Good." Sango wiped her hand along her forehead.

"Of course I meant me."

So here were Sango's options. 1. She could go out with him,shaming herself. Or 2. She could let him shame herself. She sure as hell won't let someone else shame her!

"Fine." She held out her arm for a hand shake.

"It's a deal then!" Miroku kissed her hand.

In return Miroku received a swift smack in the head from the Rubik's cube.

Sango whirled around and made a quick exit.

"WAIT! MISS! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME!"

Sango was already gone.

-

"Well,this is just dandy. I meet a gorgeous woman, get a date out of her, and I don't even know her name."

"Did ya tell her where to meet you?" Inuyasha was at his usual post, all grudges forgotten when Miroku bought him a dozen of Krispy Kreames.

Miroku's eyes went wide.

"STUPID STUPID STUPID!"

-

Okay...so...THAT WAS SUPER SHORT AND CRAPPY! I'M SORRY! SO SORRY! The next chapter will be better. I promise.

anguish-of-mind: Thank you so much! Glad you liked it. This review really made my day.

ViRgO2: Thanks! Sorry if this chapter didn't live up to your expectations.

the Lament: It's alright! Just...is that glue non toxic? Just because of this you shouldn't kill yourself.

...Hey...you know what's funny? Without the author's note at the top the total word count is 666. Heh...wow.


	3. Sweets

Disclaimer: When pigs fly. Which is why I'm building a pig catapult.

I would like to thank Niklas (the Lament) for ideas and encouragement.

**Technical Problems**

**_Chapter Three_**

-

"Come on, come on, stupid elevator!" Miroku shouted at the poor thing, that was only doing it's job. He was currently trying to get downstairs to Kagome as fast as he could. He needed that woman's complaint form!

The button with the printed number '5' back lighted, making a small ding sound when it did.

"CURSES!"

4 floors left.

Miroku began hopping up and down like a little kid in dire need of the bathroom. He was also finding the mechanical hum quite annoying now.

3 floors.

Miroku's hopping speed increased.

2 floors.

In his rapid hopping, which could rival that of Super Bunny, he knocked down another passenger in the elevator. A girl scout. She had friends. And they were angry.

When they started growling, Miroku suddenly became aware of the girls.

1 floor.

"OH NO!"

DING

"BUUUUYYYY OUUURR COOOOOKIIIIES!" They roared and leaped at him, taking no prisoners. If you want to get the special teddy bear with the button eyes, that says "I love you!" whenever you squeeze it's left paw, you have be tough out there.

"BACK, DEMON SPAWN!" The girl scouts' victim shouted as he shook the girl scouts off his foot and back in to the elevator, holding them momentarily captive.

And, once again, Miroku avoided another mauling by angry girl scouts.

-

"Miroku...you look out of breath..." Kagome tapped her chin with her pen thoughtfully.

"Kagome...I need you to give me that woman's complaint form." Miroku gasped.

"The one before? What will you give me for it?"

He sighed and dug around in his pocket. Kagome's eyes sparkled.

"Where did you get girl scout cookies?" she asked with delight, looking over the cookies, silently picking which one to eat first.

"Long story, alright. Will you please just give me her form?"

"Sure!" She handed it to him and grabbed the cookies out of his hand.

"YOU FRAMED IT?" Miroku asked in disbelief.

"Yep!" She happily munched on the cookie. "OOO! Thin mints!"

Miroku stared at her then at the picture frame containing the form.

Then she bent down suddenly and opened up her desk drawer and handed him a piece of paper.

"You can keep that one, if you like."

"AND YOU MADE COPIES?"

"Yep!" she said taking another bite out of the chocolate covered cookie.

-

Miroku took the stairs this time. But, you see, the problem with stairs is that it actually requires physical activity. Well, that's all fine and dandy for a professional athlete, but for Miroku it was pretty hard.

But what did he care? He had the blessed complaint form! He had read it over 5 times already. Luckily for him, Miss Sango had scribbled her phone number down.

(A/N: Hoping to be the first to hear the news of his castration, maybe? Oh. That was bad.)

-

He strolled in, doughnut at hand. He loved doughnuts of all kind. Powdered, glazed, frosted. He didn't care that he was a living breathing stereotype; you know, a pastry addicted security guard, he just wanted to get his daily sugar fix.

"You're going to get fat from all those cookies." Inuyasha said, watching Kagome as she munched away on the chocolate cookies.

"Like doughnuts are much better." She scoffed, offended. How could he criticize these little chunks of heaven!

"Do you see me drinking Slim Fast?"

"No. But I don't see why you don't like girl scout cookies," she picked one up and showed it to him. "Here! Try one! You'll like it!"

"Get that away from me!" He batted it from her hand where it rolled along the floor and landed on it's side innocently.

A tense silence fell over them as they both stared at it.

It's a just a cookie, Kagome reasoned with herself.

Yet...

She hadn't felt more rejected in her life.

(A/N: Why she felt so strongly about this, I have no clue. You should ask the author about it...oh...wait...)

-

"Civilization! Thy name is top of stair case!"

(A/N: Miroku, Inuyasha, and Kagome work in a super large building.The lobby, where Kagome works is on the first floor, of course. Inuyasha works in the first floor also, just not in the lobby. And Miroku works on the 6th floor. But there are a lot of stairs in one flight...)

"Weirdo." A passer-by muttered and pressed the elevator button, and was immediately assaulted by girl scouts.

"MY LEG! OH GOD! IT HURTS!" The doors closed and the man was left to his doom.

Miroku shivered and quickly made his way to his cubicle, where he was safe. His posters watched over him like paper angels. That he liked to look at...from time to time.

-

A/N: "Are you prolonging this?"Yes. "Why?" Because. "This story sucks!" BZZZZ! It has to be stated in a form of question! Away with you! To the pit of angry beavers! (Various smacking noises are heard)

Also, why Inuyasha reacted so strongly I'm going to reveal the in the next chapter.

NOW! REVIEW PLEASE!

Total times I said Miroku's name (counting author's notes.) : 16 (Holy crap.)


	4. Dealing With It

Sorry about the long wait!

Disclaimer: Once I rule the world.

Iwould like to thank Niklas (the Lament) for ideas and encouragement.

**Technical Problems**

**_Chapter Four_**

-

The telephone's ring sounded in his ears. He hoped she was home.

"Hello?" Oh, joy! She was there!

"Hello, my dear, Sango." Miroku said happily.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm your date! Speaking of which, we need to plan somewhere to go...I'm free Sat-"

The telephone dial tone cut him short. But! No matter! For there was re-dial!

-

Her phone rang again. No! There was no way in hell she was going to pick it up. It might be_him. Him_, the reason she was avoiding the phone like the Bubonic Plague. _Him_, the reason why she was cowering under her kitchen table. _Him..._

...her date for Saturday whether she liked it or not.

She picked up the phone.

"Hello? Miroku?"

-

Inuyasha ran his hand through his hair. What was he going to do? His shift was going to start in a hour. He could just skip work, avoiding a very awkward confrontation with Kagome. No! That was the wimp's way out! He jumped out of bed and got dressed, combed his hair and brushed his teeth. He didn't bother for breakfast, he could pick up something in the break room.

Locking the door behind him, he jumped down the stone steps, and almost landed on a flower. He looked at it. It was rather pretty...

"Ahhhh! I'm dying! Everything is turning black!" It squeaked, but it's dying words went unnoticed by Inuyasha as he plucked it from the ground.

-

He strutted in, hands clamped firmly behind his back. This might have been the first time Kagome had seen him without a powdered sugar stain somewhere on his clothes.

"This is for you." He stated gruffly, handing her the flower, roots, dirt clods and all.

"It was just...I'm allergic to chocolate...and..." he said, trying explain his strong reaction to the girl scout cookie.

When he peeked over to look at Kagome's reaction, he saw that she was looking at the flower curiously. What? The wench had never seen a flower before? He was about to say something rude but then he actually caught sight of the flower. It had been stripped of it's petals.

Maybe it was because he held on to it to tight. Or maybe it was because he had picked it up roughly. But the point is that the flower wasn't "rather pretty", anymore.

Inuyasha was speechless.What if she hated him for giving it to her? I mean, giving someone a dead flower was usually considered as a way to say "I hate you." or "Go to hell." But then she said something that made Inuyasha squeak.

"I love it. Thank you Inuyasha."

"Squeak." was the most masculine answer he could give her.

Now, it wasn't the actual answer that reduced Inuyasha to a mouse. No, because anyone with manners would have said the same thing. But it was the genuinity of it that made him squeak. That, and the fact that she actually took a vase, filled it with water and put the mutilated flower in it.

-

He was on Cloud 9 for the day. Miroku wasn't usually this uppity, and it made all his co-workers nervous. One man, pushed into it by force, confronted him about it.

"Takagashi? I was just wondering why you are so...um...happy...and dancing with the water cooler."

He grinned at the nervous man, and offered his hand.

"Why? Do you want to dance with me?"

"No! N-no...that's alright. Just why?"

"If you really want to know," Miroku's grin was growing wider by the second. "I have a date with the most beautiful woman in the world!"

The other man's eyes grew wide.

"Takagashi...you aren't...d-dating Higurashi are you?"

Miroku looked at his strangely.

"No, she's just my friend. Why?"

He blushed a rather healthy shade of red and looked towards the floor.

Miroku grinned wider then ever.

"Houjou? Do you like, Kagome?"

Houjou blushed more and shuffled his feet.

"You know,...I could set you up, if ya want." Miroku leaned against his dance partner, the water cooler.

"Really! You could!"

"Of course, of course!...For a small fee."

Houjou sighed and got out his wallet.

-

Don't worry! I'll have the date next chapter! I have all kinds of ideas floating around for it!


	5. Warm

Let me warn you guys...this is a pretty sappy chapter. I'm sorry.

Disclaimer: If I did own Inuyasha, it wouldn't be PG-13 anymore...

I would like to thank Niklas (the Lament) for ideas and encouragement.

**EDIT: Because my separating hyphens didn't work for some reason; it bugs me so. **

**Technical Problems**

**_Chapter Five_**

She tapped her fingers on her desk. It gets boring here. Sure, she had work to do, but oh well.

"Come on, Houjou! You can do it! Just, ask her out and give her the flowers and chocolates!" Miroku urged him.

The said man gulped, and started to walk towards her.

"H-Higurashi? W-would...you like to go out with me this Saturday?" Houjou said in a rush, shoving the flowers and chocolate box in her hands.

Kagome was startled, she would have never thought that he would show that kind of interest in her.

"Uhh..." OH NOES! BRAIN CRAMP! IT HURTS!

She started looking around, frantically searching for an answer from the Gods.

Then she saw Miroku, mouthing 'Say yes! I'm getting paid for this!'.

Miroku wasn't a god. But Kagome's judgment was little...stupid...right then.

"...Um...yes..."

Houjou grinned, relief showing on his features and kissed her on the cheek. Which was pretty bold for him, you have to admit.

"See you Saturday then, Higurashi!"

She didn't reply, because blobs of jelly can't talk.

**_Border! YAY! BORDER!_**

...What had she done? She...just accepted a date from Houjou. Houjou.

It won't be so bad! He is nice after all! And rather handsome, she said to herself. He even gave her some chocolate and a whole bouquet of roses!

Kagome stared at the flowers on her desk.

Somehow, Inuyasha's was much prettier.

(A/N: Somehow? I know how! And I'm stupid! Jeez Kagome!)

**_Border! YAY! BORDER!_**

He grinned as he counted the money, and smelled it. His job didn't pay very well, so it was rare that he had some money right now.

"Hey-WOAH! MIROKU! YOU HAVE MONEY!" Inuyasha's mouth hung open, showing bits of chewed up doughnut. His half-eaten doughnut fell to the floor, and somewhere, made a janitor weep.

"Indeed, I do!"

"H-how..did you get it?...You aren't selling crack now, are you?"

"Nope! But, it might have some health risks...for him, I mean."

"Who?" He was curious now. Maybe he could get into this 'business'.

"Houjou. He wanted me to set him up with Kagome. So, I did." Miroku shrugged and started counting his money again.

"You...you...WHAT?"

"...Was that bad?"

**_Border! YAY! BORDER!_**

"Woah! Miroku! What mauled you?"

"A very angry Inuyasha." Miroku held the ice pack to his abused head.

**_Border! YAY! BORDER!_**

The calendar. It mocked her.

"SATURDAY IS TOMORROW!" It seemed to shout at her.

"I know, dammit! I KNOW!" Sango yelled, nearly tearing it to shreds.

She sighed and sat down on her wooden chair, blowing away a lock of her hair off her face.

"I'm going on the date...but I'm not going to get fixed up for that womanizer!"

**_Border! YAY! BORDER!_**

"S-SHORTS AND A T-SHIRT!" He yelled, looking her over.

"I dressed casually," she shrugged, hiding her shiver.

"Not that you don't have nice legs Sango-chan," She gave him a warning glance. "Uh...Miss Sango," He corrected himself. "But it's the middle of winter! It 22 degrees out!"

"...I...uh...didn't want...sweater...rash." What had she been thinking? She could have just dressed up in sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt he would have gotten the message! And she would have been warm too! She mentally cursed.

"Here," Miroku unzipped his jacket and held it out, wrapping it around her so that it held both of them.

"What are you doing, you bastard!" She blushed. Miroku thought it was just because of the cold weather. So he wrapped it tighter around them.

"I don't want you to get a cold." He smiled at her, the streetlights outlining his features.

Sango blushed again and adjusted the jacket better, trying to make some space between them.

"...Thank you."

Maybe he wasn't as bad as she had thought.

Everyone had their faults.

But everyone had their pluses too.

And besides...

It was so much warmer in his jacket.

**_Border! YAY! BORDER!_**

GAH-Gets assulted by sugar gnomes- I PROMISE THAT IT WON'T BE THAT SUGAR-COATED NEXT CHAPTER -Cries-


	6. Urban Pirate Hunters

Not much of warning here...just...watch out for grues...

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Or this chair, for that matter...

I would like to thank Niklas (the Lament) for ideas and encouragement.

**Technical Problems**

**_Chapter Six_**

**_Border! YAY! BORDER!_**

The sound of his cell phone ring pierced the air, and ruined all romantic thoughts up until now. It also succeeded in making Miroku feel like a girl.

"...Do you have..."Milkshake" as your ring-tone?" Sango asked, hoping that it was someone's else's cell phone.

"...Um...Yeah..."

"...Why?" She was dreading the answer.

"Because...my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard?"

"Oh, sweet Jesus."

"You're just jealous." He said, crossing his arms over his chest. Which only served to make him look more feminine.

"Of what? Your ability to attract gay men?" Sango smirked.

"NO! Of my ability to...um..."

"Your ability to...?"

"I'm thinking!"

The irony of the situation? Through all of this they both forgot about Miroku's cell phone.

**_Border! YAY! BORDER!_**

Phone in hand, she looked at her wrist watch in frustration. Why the hell wasn't he picking up? She knew that he had a date tonight, but-...

"Oh, God! Sango! AND I THOUGHT SHE HAD A CHANCE!" Kagome was almost sobbing. Though she didn't know Sango that well, anyone that would personally visit the office and complain to one of the hundreds of workers in the building was cool in her book.

"Hello this is Miroku," His voice sound in her ear, much to her relief.

"Finally! You better not have been feeling up Sango or I'll-"

"I'm not here right now."

"CURSES!" She looked at her watch again. She was going to be late if she didn't hurry. In fact, her date with Houjou was the reason she was calling him in the first place.She figured that Miroku would be able to get her out of it.

"If you give me your name, number, address, and the blood of a virgin, I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

She threw the phone down in frustration, causing the batteries to fall out. Kagome growled, which sounded like a mix of bear and an angry monkey. After she stopped making weird noises she stated picking up the batteries.

"These things are so small...they are going to be impossible to find..."

Suddenly, she felt a sharp tug at the hem of her skirt. She turned and was met with emerald eyes.

"Excuse me, Miss. Lady? Can I help?"

All the events that had happened just now were forgotten as she smiled brightly to the little boy.

"Okay, thanks. What's your name?"

"Shippou!" He smiled back and handed her a stray battery.

"Well, Shippou, does your mom or dad work here?"

"No, my dad died."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Kagome was mentally kicking herself for bring it up.

The silence was almost horrible.

"You know...my dad died too." She said, to break the awkwardness.

"Really?"

"Mmm hmm."

Finally, the phone was back together again.

**_Border! YAY! BORDER!_**

"So...Shippou? Why are you here anyway?"

"My mom works here. She said that she would pick me up at about..." He paused, thoughtfully then held out his hand and two fingers.

"THIS MANY!" He beamed, happy with his accomplishment.

Seven? 'O' clock?Kagome looked at the office clock hanging above the door. It was eight thirty right now...

OH CRAP! Eight thirty! She had to meet up with Houjou in fifteen minutes! She shot up and looked around panicked.

"Miss Kagome? What's wrong?"

"I have to go somewhere! But...I can't leave you alone..."

"Don't worry, my mom will pick me up soon!"

She looked up at the clock again.

Eight thirty one. CRAP!

Suddenly, as if it was planned, Inuyasha walked in, looking in a particular grumpy mood.

"Inuyasha!"

"Eh? What?"

"I need you to take care of Shippou till his mom comes and picks him up." She said in a rush and placed the boy in Inuyasha's hands.

"What? I'm not a baby sitter! Take him with you!" He shouted throwing Shippou back to Kagome.

"I can't I have a date!"

"That's not my problem."

Kagome grinned and threw Shippou back at Inuyasha.

"It is now!" She shouted and ran out the door.

"Wait! Come bac-"

"Inuyasha..." A little voice called to him. He looked down to see a rather sick looking Shippou.

"I don't feel to good..."

Now, as Inuyasha cleaned up the vomit off his shirt and the floor, he regretted throwing Shippou around like that.

**_Border! YAY! BORDER!_**

"I'm sorry, mister Inuyasha."

"You sure as hell better be. Now come on, we have to go follow Kagome."

"...Why?"

Inuyasha thought for a second.

"Um...because...she's in danger!"

"OH NO!"

"Yes...she being kidnapped by pirates as we speak!"

Shippou is a pretty smart kid, if naive.His father taught him all about history before he died.

"But there are no more pirates..." He stated, confused.

"...Urban pirates..."

"Oh...well we got to save her!"

"Exactly! Now hurry up!"

**_Border! YAY! BORDER!_**

I'm sorry...that chapter was bad...It's just that I have been having some creativity problems and stuff...

I'll try and update soon! (That is, if I don't blow a fuse...)


	7. Real smooth

Why, yes. I am alive, thank you. And I'm terribly sorry. It has been about a year since I have updated. That is way too long. I didn't like my last chapter, so I didn't update for awhile...and then I forgot. I thought about it today and reread it, and I realized that it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. So, I figured, after a year most people will be happy to even get a chapter. (I hope you guys didn't take me off favorite list, thoughI wouldn't blame you. Heh. )

* * *

"Okay, now listen brat. We got to go save Kagome."

"Are...you sure this is the only way?" Shippou looked up at the air vent right outside of a fancy restaurant.

"Positive. Now get up there and make me proud. You distract the piratesandI'll Kagome out of there!" said Inuyasha.

"Well...okay." Shippou was still not sure, but he liked Kagome so he wanted to save her. Inuyasha then hoisted him up and then he climbed in.

"And remember, brat! Wait for the signal!"

Phase one: Complete.

* * *

Kagome wasn't having as bad a time as she thought she would. Houjou was nice and very polite. He was just...a little boring.

"So then I said to him 'What else am I going to do with all that pudding!'" Houjou concluded with a grin.

"Aha." Kagome smiled back politely.

"Is something wrong Higurashi?" He asked, concerned.

"Oh! No, no, no! What would make you think that? I just need to...freshen up, is all! Be right back!" Kagome ran from the table.

Houjou wasbeginning to think this wasn't such a good idea. And it was only nine 'o' clock.

* * *

Inuyasha walked into the restaurant. He slinked past the host, very stealthily I might add, and looked around for Kagome's table. He saw Houjou but no Kagome.

"Dammit." He muttered under his breath.

"Ahem. Can I help you sir?"

Inuyasha nearly had a heart attack. Donuts do that to people. Some Frenchy looking dude walked up behind him.

"Um...yeah. I need to use the bathroom. Where is it?"

"Over there sir."Mr. McFrenchy dude pointed to the back of the restaurant.

"But may I ask you something?"

"Uh...sure?" Inuyasha answered, still flustered.

"Why are you crouching?"

Inuyasha quickly got back up.

"...no reason. Good day!" He ran to the bathroom. When he got there he saw Kagome exiting.

"Kagome!"

"Inuyasha? What are you doing here?"

"Uh...eating. This is a restaurant, right?"

"Oh well...I suppose so." Kagome smiled. She was happy that she had a temporary distraction from Houjou. She even forgot that he was supposed to be watching Shippou.

"Can I escort you back to your seat?" He asked, realizing that this was the perfect opportunity.

"Sure, why not?"

* * *

Shippou looked down on Houjou from his position in the air vent. He was sure this was the guy. Inuyasha had described him.

Any moment now he was expecting Inuyasha's signal. Until then he was ready to pounce on the pirate. He had only one question though. Where was Kagome?

* * *

Inuyasha saw Shippou peering out of the air vent.

"Way to be stealthy, brat." He muttered.

"What's that?" Kagome asked.

"Nothing!" He blushed. He then waited for her to turn away. When she did, he made the signal. Inuyasha exucuted the "two finger point" that Isaac did on The Love Boat flawlessly.

The signal was received.

The moment Shippou saw that, he pounced. He landed on Houjou's head, much to everyone in the restaurant's shock. Wouldn't you be shocked if you saw a five year old jump on a man's head from an air vent?

Shippou was good at being a distraction.

* * *

"Oh my God! Houjou!" Kagome cried. Inuyasha took this as his cue. He then picked up Kagome and slung her over his shoulder.

Who says chivalry is dead?

"INUYASHA! What are you doing!"

"Getting you out of here! Come on Shippou!" Inuyasha shouted as he ran out of the restaurant. Shippou jumped off of Houjou's head and ran after them.

The resturant was silent. Mr. McFrenchy dude had even stoppedbeing obnoxious.

"Well..." One man said to his date.

"...You don't see that everyday."

* * *

That is it for now. I know, I know. Sango and Mirokuaren't there. I promise to get them in next time. I should have the next chapter done by this week or so. (Hopefully)


	8. Want Fries With That?

AN: I'm a little worried. I have had a few stories deleted on another account because (I guess) I exceeded the max. amount of swear words or something. I guess I exceeded the "T" rating? I am worried about this one. I say bad words, sure, but Inuyasha swears all the time on the show and manga. But, still, I don't have this story backed up and I would hate to lose it. Please, tell me if you think that I'm going over the limit.

_

* * *

_

_Oh God...oh God..._

_Did he just..._

_He did..._

_He grabbed my butt._

"You...unbelievable! I have half a mind to...UGH!" Sango sputtered as she got away from her "date."

"I think you are over reacting." Miroku stared calmly at her.

"OVER REACTING?"

"Yes."

Sango slapped him right in front of the waiter.

"Um...I'll go get your bill."

* * *

Inuyasha darted away from the restaurant with Shippou trailing behind.

"Hey, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked as he still hefted her on his shoulder.

"Yeah?" He absentmindedly answered. He was trying to think of the best escape route back to their office.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

_How childish..._

"Fine. Go ahead."

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!"

Well. It happened. Secretary stress had gotten at Kagome.

Inuyasha was a little shocked. He had never heard Kagome like this.

Shippou piped up, "We were saving you from urban pirates."

"Urban...what?"

"Pirates." Shippou chirped.

Well, that made sense. Clearly, it was one of those "You had to be there moments."

"Well, put me down at least. Didn't your mom tell you how to treat a woman?" Kagome rolled her eyes.

"You won't run away right?"

"No! Don't you trust me?"

"No."

"Well, I won't." She huffed, angry that he hadn't waited to rescue her from Houjou until she had eaten. They were only at drinks! And then had the nerve to heft her over his shoulder and not put her down.

Chivalry, smitharly. It was long gone

Inuyasha put her down.

"Well...now what?" He asked her.

"Want to go get something to eat? I'm staving." She said.

"Me too!" Shippou piped up so that they would remember he was here.

"Fine. Come on, brat."

"Hey!" Shippou yelled in protest.

"I was talking to Kagome." Inuyasha stated matter-of-factly.

"Hey!"

* * *

"Sir...you and your date are disturbing the restaurant." The waiter approached the pair, wary.

"Oh! I'm sorry! We'll be good!" Miroku replied with more than one slap mark on his face.

"We? I'm good. You're not." Sango muttered, irritated. Everyone was looking at them.

"Well, okay. If you disturb the restaurant again, however, we will have to kick you out."

"What! Before our meal even arrives!" Sango asked, alarmed.

"Yes, if this behavior persists."

"Fine..._rat bastard._" She muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. We won't disturb again. Promise!" She smiled and did a little peace sign while winking.

Awww. That was adorable. Apparently Miroku thought so. Once the waiter left, he groped her again.

AN: No self control...-.-;

"YOU JERKWAD!"

The waiter trotted back to their table, more than a little upset.

"I'm afraid I will have to hold true to my promise. I hope you understand."

"Oh! We do! Come ON Sango!" Miroku said and pushed her out of the restaurant to avoid making a scene.

"RAPE! RAPE! BLAPSHEMY!" She yelled. The restaurant was silent.

The waiter slapped his head.

They didn't pay for their drinks.

* * *

"McDonalds!" Kagome shouted in disbelief.

"I don't exactly have a seven figure salary, alright?" Inuyasha said. And he was right. Security guards aren't exactly rich.

"Arrgh!" Kagome said sounding like a pirate, "If it wasn't for you, I would be getting crab alfredo, not Bigmacs! (tm)."

"Yeah, well, you win some you lose some. What do you want?"

"Happy meal!" Shippou shouted.

"Cheeseburger with catsup only." Kagome muttered a little deflated.

* * *

"McDonalds!" Sango shouted in disbelief.

"Well, I don't exactly have a seven figure salary." Miroku said sheepishly. And he was right. Techies aren't exactly rich.

"Arrgh!" Sango said sounding like a pirate, "If it wasn't for you, I would be getting lobster tails, not Bigmacs! (tm)."

"I wasn't the one that yelled and disturbed the restaurant. I groped quietly." Miroku said defensively.

_What!_

"Oh look! There's Kagome and Inuyasha! Let's go see them!"

* * *

AN: Well, another chapter done. I'll try and finish this story, then get on with my life. Enjoy.


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